I'll Keep You Safe
by Aeon The Dimensional Girl
Summary: When Arthur fantasied being reunited with Merlin, he imagined giving the insufferable man the constantly demanded hug (only to later denying giving it, of course), or with Merlin simply walking through the doors of the throne room without knocking and calling Arthur a prat in front of everyone. He never imagined this.


**AN: Sooo, there's a post in Tumblr that shows like, once in a blue moon on my dash that goes like this**

**_'The hero shows up at the villain's doorstep one night. They're shivering, bleeding, scared. There's also a slightly dazed look in their eyes– they were drugged. They look like they were assaulted. Looking up at the villain, swaying slightly as they're close to passing out, they mumble "…didn't know where else to go…" then collapse into the villain's arms.'_**

**And tried as I might, I couldn't stop imagining Merthur in an inspired scenario with this…. Sooo, here ya go.**

**(Title definitely comes from the same song by Sleeping At Last.)**

* * *

It was that nightmare again.

Merlin was running.

Sometimes it was in a forest. Other times it would be a beach. On a memorable occasion, it had been through a desert.

But it always ended the same way.

With Merlin getting caught.

And Arthur always woke up before the raven haired man fell, victim to whatever weapon the pursuers had pierced him with; a scream trying to crawl its way up on his throat.

The blond let out a sigh as he let himself fall back onto the feathered pillows, already knowing that sleep wouldn't come back easy. His eyes stared tiredly at the canopy on top of his bed, almost hoping that the wooden furniture or the drapes themselves would tell him why he couldn't stop dreaming about Merlin dying.

Arthur wanted to blame sorcery, but he somehow couldn't do that, it didn't sit well with him blaming magic for continuing to have nightmares about his former manservant dying, even if all evidence pointed to the contrary.

* * *

The first time it happened, it had been the same night Merlin had been banished from Camelot.

Uther, in some moments during his sickness, had seen enemy sorcerers left and right. Accusation after accusation had been thrown at random servants, guards, knights and nobles. No one had been executed, fortunately, but in order to calm the ailing king, the council had agreed to at least search in the belongings of those who had been given the pointed finger by Uther, and Arthur reluctantly consented to his father's wishes.

It was later that day that everything went to hell.

The King had insisted on going to Gaius first, much to Arthur's consternation. It _was_ no hidden secret that the royal physician had practiced sorcery before the Purge, but everyone knew he had also _renounced it_. But Uther, with his frail mind, had been insistent and no one had been able to talk him out. It was almost as he was expecting to find his old friend muttering the words of the Old Religion.

But it hadn't been Gaius who they found.

Two of Uther's loyal knights had burst through the door, and they had all been greeted by a mop and broom cleaning up the floor by their own accord while Arthur's throwing knives sharpened themselves in midair.

And it the mist of it, looking absolutely horrified, had stood Merlin.

Merlin, who was loyal to a fault and clumsy and insolent and kind and caring and-

And whose wonderful blue eyes had been shining with treasonous gold.

Something inside of the Prince snapped.

Before he knew it, Arthur had stormed pass the knights, who had been more than ready to strike the serva- sorcerer right there, grabbed Merlin by the arm and proceeded to run.

He had kept his firm grip on the raven's for the whole time it took them to get out of the citadel and into the woods, all while ignoring Merlin's pleas and sobs of _'I can explain!', 'Arthur, please!', '-I was born with it!', 'It's for you! I only use it for you!', 'Leave Gaius out of this, I'm begging you'._ He had quieted as they got deeper in the forest, save only for the occasional sniffle and murmur of _'I've ruined everything'_.

Thinking back to it, Arthur still doesn't know exactly why he did what came next. Probably had to do with the snap he felt inside of him.

He had executed sorcerers before. Pointed his sword to their chests and pushed the blade in. It was something that had become mechanical.

And gods above, he hated it.

He hated it because now he was seeing Merlin's face in every single person with magic that he had executed. Or send to the pyre. Or the chopping block.

Arthur couldn't imagine it. He couldn't stand the image of ivory skin being consumed by the flames or the swan neck meeting the sharp edge of an axe.

They've gotten to a clearing and pushed Merlin onto the ground, Arthur drew out his sword and pointed to where he knew Merlin's heart beat with the same fear he showed on his face, all except for his eyes. They stared back at the Crown Prince, sadness and resignation clear in them.

"Leave" Arthur told- no, commanded.

"Arthur-" Merlin had whispered, eyes pleading, "Arthur- just, let me-"

"Damn it, Merlin!" the Prince yelled, closing his eyes in frustration, "For once in your life, do as you're told!"

"But I-"

"MERLIN!" Arthur had felt the fight leave him. Breathing deeply, he looked back at his dear friend.

Who happened to be a sorcerer.

Gods, everything was so messed up. First Morgana betrayed everyone, his father seemingly had gone mad, and now the man Arthur thought as his best friend was revealed to have magic all along.

"I want answers, Merlin" Arthur had finally said, "But I know that right now, you can't give them to me. And- and people probably think that I was enchanted by you, giving my reaction to you being found out"

"So, I'm banishing you", he had to control himself to keep his face neutral, "You are not to return until I am king. Understood?"

Merlin had numbly nodded, and Arthur put away his sword. He watched as the pale man slowly got up and looked into the trees behind him, as if he was waiting for a creature to come out of them.

Arthur had simply turned around, intending on walking back to Camelot before a swarm of knights came following their footsteps, but Merlin's voice stopped him.

"Ask Gaius" his voice had been soft, "And- and Lancelot. They- they can answer your questions"

Arthur kept on walking.

And in the dark of the night, the nightmares followed him.

* * *

After the first night, he blamed it on the stress and anxious thoughts that had been plaguing him after setting foot back on the castle. His claims that Merlin had ensorcelled him had been seemingly been brought by Uther, but Gaius had given The Eyebrow™ and Arthur had been quick to explain what he actually did to the physicians apprentice.

On the third time, he put the blame on shock and anger at finding out what Merlin had done in his time at Camelot. Gaius and Lancelot warned him that there were details that Merlin would be more willing to share with him that with his mentor and friend, but Arthur didn't listen. Couldn't listen. He locked himself in his chambers and proceeded to throw around every single object he could find on his path as his mind became a whirlwind with all the things he had learned; The falling branches, the Dragon, the Questing Beast, the Griffin, the snakes on Valiant's shield, the mysterious plagues, the quest of the Fisher King, the skeleton army, the list went on and on and on; his victories really belonging to a sorcerer who never sought the credit.

Arthur wanted to hate Merlin.

He couldn't.

* * *

By the fifteen time, the now Prince Regent _knew _this wasn't normal.

Gaius's sleeping draughts hadn't worked and trying to talk about it with Guinevere and the knights… well, needleless to say, Gwaine probably didn't deserve the punch to the face when he called Arthur 'An Emotional Constipated Man', but the prince would rather have run himself with a sword than get his feelings involved.

It didn't help that he tried to seek out Merlin's face in the crowd, expecting the raven to suddenly appear by his side and lend an ear or force out what was troubling Arthur.

The fact that he only wanted to talk about it with Merlin should have bothered him.

It didn't.

* * *

Arthur was starting to lose count on the amount of nights he had seen Merlin running and terrified for his life when news about the Dorocha came.

Making the decision to sacrifice himself to close the veil had felt… sort of empty. No one was actively trying to stop him.

But he knew who would have tried.

Arthur tried not to give too much thought to it as he snuck into Gaius's rooms to retrieve a long forgotten piece of red cloth from a room that hadn't been used in months, moments before going away on what would be his last quest.

He held on tight to the neckerchief as he prepared to offer himself to the Cailleach-

-Only to wake up minutes later, confused and with a pounding headache.

"What-?" he asked as he took Gwaine and Leon's offers to stand up, "What happened?

Gwaine simply looked to towards where the veil has been open just moments ago. Lancelot was being helped by Percival and Elyan to get up as well, but that wasn't what called Arthur's attention.

A beautiful orb of blue light hovered closely, as it was trying to see if any of them were injured. It shifted closer towards Arthur when the prince let out a shaky laugh of recognition.

It stayed next to him until they left the Isle of the Blessed.

Arthur missed its warmth all the way back towards Camelot.

* * *

As Uther's health continued to decline and after breaking his courtship with Guinevere on mutual agreement, Arthur found himself fantasizing being reunited with Merlin shortly after having the dream.

Sometimes, he imagined that they would meet while Arthur was out on a hunt, and after a moment of shock, he would see himself giving the insufferable man the constantly demanded hug his friend had whined about ever since the troll incident.

(Only to later denying giving it, of course).

Other times, Merlin simply walked through the doors of the throne room without knocking and called Arthur a prat in front of everyone, shoved George aside, and would trip over his own two feet trying to serve Arthur some wine.

(That one was a favorite of his).

There was… another fantasy that involved his bed, but try as he might, Arthur couldn't get rid of that one.

(He blamed the red neckerchief, still rich with Merlin's scent and hidden under his pillow).

* * *

When the cries of _'Long live the King!'_ ceased and Arthur proclaimed his intentions to allow common men try for knighthood and lifting the ban on magic, he kept his most passive and neutral face in front of his subjects.

But his eyes desperately scanned the room for a pale, tall man with raven hair and azure eyes that could turn into golden starlight.

He never found them.

The nightmare changed that night. Not only he saw Merlin fall, but he found himself to be his attacker along with Uther and Morgana.

Arthur barely managed to get to his chamber pot before he spilled the contents of his stomach.

* * *

When Arthur came back to his chambers late that night, he was irritated. The council had been going nowhere with the talks regarding the magic ban, his uncle the least helpful of them. Agravaine had seemed to make it his mission to make Arthur doubt himself and every single decision he was trying to make for the good of the kingdom.

To make things worse he had been so close to calling out for Merlin's opinion in the meeting. When he had requested for his cup to be refiled he had expected a quip or a dry comment from the boy, only to be meet with George's boring face.

(He very much ignored the knowing looks Gaius and Leon had given him after that)

The young king let out a sigh as he dropped himself in his chair in front of the fire.

A month, and there were no news about Merlin's whereabouts. Lancelot and Gwaine had practically nearly fought each other to go on patrols looking for him throughout the neighboring kingdoms.

Arthur himself had written to the four other kings of Albion if they had heard of him, and he'd gone as far as to visit Ealdor. Hunith had received him coldly at first, but soon broke down, fear clear in her eyes as she informed him that she had not heard of her son in nearly a year.

It's just- it didn't make any sense. If Merlin had managed to send help when Arthur needed it against a magical attack, wouldn't the idiot also know how to keep up with the news?

Unless Merlin had taken to living as a cave hermit.

"I wouldn't put it pass behind you, you clotpole" Arthur murmured with a faint smile while the flames of the fireplace flickered as if they were in agreement.

A small breeze fluttered his hair, and for a moment it felt like there was a faint humming in the air.

Hang on.

Winter was barely giving place for spring. He had asked George to keep the windows locked to avoid walking onto a frozen chamber.

The fire glimmered and the candles flames quivered. The mysterious breeze blew again, less gentle this time.

Arthur jumped from his seat and quickly drew out his sword.

"Who's there?" he asked, eyes darting around his chambers, "Show yourself!"

He got no answer, save for the breeze that had now become a small whirlwind in the middle of the room. Stray papers danced around with the wind, alongside dry leaves, small flickers of snow and-

Arthur held his breath.

Golden, blue and silver lights shone in the middle of the whirl, forming the shape of a person and the light becoming brighter with it.

The blond man had to shut his eyes, and only opened them again once he heard the ragged puffs of air- and proceeded to drop his sword.

There was a man where the whirlwind had stood. He was tall, skinny and dressed in worn out and tattered clothes that hung to his body. Violent shivers managed to make bits of his dark hair unstick to his bleeding brow and made crimson droplets fall to the floor. His eyes looked slightly dazed, as he had been drugged or hit hard in the head.

To anyone, he might pass as unrecognizable, someone who got himself out badly in a tavern fight.

But Arthur _knew_ him.

"Merlin?" he whispered with growing horror as his friend swayed slightly back and forth.

"…Arthur" the sorcerer's voice was horse and faint, his azure eyes meeting the carefully approaching sapphires, "…Didn't know where else to go…" he mumbled before his knees buckled under him.

Arthur manages to catch him before his head made contact with the stone floor. He gently laid Merlin on the ground, one of his arms cradling the raven locks while the other tried to assess the injuries.

There were too many. Now that he had him close, Arthur could see that most of Merlin's usual pale skin was close to ashen; his clothes strained with blood that stuck to his body from cuts and gashes that went from his legs to his arms, and there were crimson wounds on his stomach and chest that kept on growing.

"Merlin…" he murmurs, afraid that his voice will start shaking as he tries to apply pressure to the stomach wound. Merlin gives a small whimper, his eyes looking back at Arthur with fear.

"'m sorry… I'll- I'll go away…" Merlin stutters, making a move as he tries to get up-

"No!" Arthur flinches at his voice tone the same time his friend does, "No, it's alright, you can stay" he tries again, willing himself to speak softly and giving the raven man a smile he hopes to be comforting, "You'll be fine" he adds.

Merlin seemingly tried to laugh, but what came out was more of a gurgle.

"Don't… think so…" he whispered with raspy breaths as a red line comes out of his lips and his eyes flutter, threatening to shut.

"Don't be an idiot, Merlin, I've seen worse" Arthur's voice sounds strange even to him, coming out as slightly high pitched while he cradles his friend closer to him.

The raven gives him a small smile, his eyes gaining focus for a moment and full of an emotion the blond wants desperately to decipher while ashen fingers clutch the inside of the hand that's still on top of the stomach wound.

"Prat" he says softly before his eyes close, his already weak grip going limp.

Arthur panicked.

"No, no! Merlin, stay awake!" he gently shakes the other man, but the only reaction he manages to get is a head rolling over to rest out of his arm and another wave of shivers that end with blood being coughed out.

"MERLIN!" he screamed.

Nothing.

Before another wave of panic went through him, Arthur suddenly remembered where and who exactly he was.

"Gaius" he whispered, eyes widening, "Guards! GUARDS!" he yelled, barely trying to hide the fear in his voice.

The two guards that were usually posted outside his chambers burst through the door, looking ready to attack at whatever had the young king seemingly terrified, only to stop short at the scene in front of them.

"Fetch Gaius, immediately!" Arthur ordered, barely paying attention to them. The guards quickly disappeared from the door frame while he pulled Merlin into his arms, trying to avoid joisting his wounds as he picked him up.

"If you die, I'll kill you myself, you hear me?" the king said, taking advantage that the raven's head had come to rest by his shoulder, "You can't die. I forbid you to die" he continued to say with a shaking voice and blinking back stinging eyes as he proceeded to gently lie Merlin on his bed.

Waiting for Gaius to arrive feels like an eternity.

Arthur finds himself barking orders at a newly arrived George to bring water and rags when the old physician finally appears holding his medicine bag and somehow managing to look qualified for his job yet quite annoyed at the late hour call.

"Sire, the guards informed me that you- Merlin?"

It's quite the transformation. Gaius had managed to look joyful to horrified to professional in a matter of seconds before crossing the room in record time, and for a moment Arthur wonders if that how he looked with the two first reactions when he realized the stranger in the whirlwind was actually Merlin.

"What happened?" Gaius asks the king while pressing his fingers to Merlin's wrist to check his pulse.

"I don't know" Arthur shakily admits, "He just-" he makes a movement with his fingers trying to resemble the wind, "-Appeared in the room, like this, and practically collapsed into my arms"

"Did he managed to specify how many injuries he had?" Gaius questions as he rips Merlin's tunic to get easier access to the worst wounds. Arthur numbly shook his head.

"No, but he was coughing out blood" he faintly answered, too distracted as he now laid eyes on the naked torso of the unconscious man. It's not just a stomach and chest wound what greats the king and the physician. Where there isn't gore, its bruises and scars.

With the amount of blood that Merlin has lost, he'll wouldn't make the night if he got treated the normal way.

"Gaius, I know the ban isn't lifted yet" Arthur's not sure how he managed to get a grip on his voice, but surely, somewhere in Avalon, Uther must be proud at him for getting back in control, "But you have my permission and my protection to use any means necessary to heal him"

The physician looked back at him, some relief and wariness visible in his old features, but nodded.

"Thank you, Arthur" he said softly as George came in to drop the extra bandages and a bucket of water before leaving once again.

Gaius held his hand on top of the chest wound.

_"Ic ðe ðurhhæle ðinu licsar mid ðam sundorcræft ðære ealdan æ. Drycræft ðurhhæle ðina wunda ond ðe geedstaðolie"_ he chanted as his hand trailed over to Merlin's stomach wound. Slowly, the bleeding stopped and the wound started closing. But the stomach injury continued to pour out. Gaius frowned before repeating the spell, but the gash remained the same.

_"Ic þe þurhhæle þin licsare"_ he tried with another one. Nothing.

"Why-?" Arthur took a deep breath to calm himself and drown the sudden wave of fear that came through him, "Why isn't it healing?" he asked.

"I don't know, Sire, but if it refused to heal with those spells, it does not bode well for him" the older man answered as he took out a needle and thread from the bag, "I'll have to run a quick test with his blood to be sure of what we're dealing with. On the bright side, the wound doesn't look deep, so there's a low chance that Merlin's internal organs have taken damage" he smiled faintly before starting to sew the injury.

Merlin barely moved while the process went on, but his breathing remained hard. Arthur made himself useful in the meantime by cleaning out the dried blood from his friend's body, to the point that he laid nude on the bed as the blond finished bandaging the other wounds that had been inflicted on him.

There had been a head wound by the side below his left ear; old and new dark bruises, cuts and gashes in his thighs, hips and upper left arm. His right arm had lashes disturbingly familiar to have been inflicted by a flogging whip. Both of his shoulders had boot-shaped bruises.

As Gaius is finishing securing the last knot of the stiches, his former ward began to twitch slightly. Both of his caretakers shared a look before the physician leaned over the raven haired man.

"Merlin?" he said softly. Merlin gave a small whimper in response, "My boy, can you hear me?"

Both men waited with bated breath, before finally, Merlin's dazed eyes fluttered open.

"…Gaius?" he croaked, wincing violently and shutting his eyes as a gasp of pain left him, "…Hurts" he mumbled, panting.

Gaius's professional mask had broken when Merlin spoke, and for the first time the young king had known him, he looked ancient as he took his ward's hands. Arthur's fingers twitched, wanting to take hold of the pale fingers himself to bring him comfort.

"Where does it hurt?" Gaius gently asked him. Merlin let out a shaky breath before blearily opening his eyes once again.

"Everywhere" he rasped out.

He promptly passed out again.

Arthur and the physician shared a worried look.

"I'll stay with him" the blond man whispered, "You go figure out what's wrong with that wound"

* * *

The candles in Arthur's room were beginning to die out when Merlin finally stirred and woke again; the relief at seeing azure eyes that no longer looked so dazed and lost was being almost too much for the blond.

"I missed you" he blurted out before he could stop himself, but the young king found himself slightly surprised at not regretting saying it.

It was the truth, after all.

Merlin, on the other hand, simply gave him a fond look, the ghost of a smile forming on his lips as he carefully inclined his head to properly face Arthur.

"…Had to see you again" he whispered, his voice still hoarse. An uneasy feeling went through the blond as he registered his dear friend's words.

"Don't say things like that, Merlin" Arthur murmured as he held up a goblet full of water to the raven's chapped lips, helping him drink by keeping his head up. He tried not to stare much at the way some drops fell through the other man's neck, or the movements of Merlin's throat while he greedily drank the water.

"Like what?" Merlin asked, eyes downcast as his fingers fidgeted with the blanket and furs that had been placed on top of him to keep his body warm and away from prying eyes. Arthur felt something inside him harden.

"Like you're saying goodbye" he accused, his fingers reaching out to hold the raven by the chin, "You're _not_ saying goodbye" he added, memories of his healing of the Questing Beast's injury coming to mind. Merlin's gaze hardened as well.

"It's not like I-" he started to say before a violent cough shook his body, "-Like I managed the last time" His tone wasn't really accusatory, but Arthur flinched anyway.

"I know" he whispered, dropping his hand from Merlin's chin, "I'm sorry" he added, waves of regret hitting him to the point that he let out a shaky breath.

"I forgave you long ago" Merlin told him with a soft tone. There was honesty and tenderness in his eyes, and Arthur believed him, giving him a small smile before frowning as his gaze dropped to the bandaged injuries; the stomach wound still leaking.

"Merlin" he started, "What happened to you?"

His friend let out a shaky breath, and for a moment Arthur feared that he wouldn't say anything, too traumatized to reveal the origin of his wounds.

But then Merlin started to talk, his voice coming out as sad and hard as he told the blond what became of him after his banishment.

He spoke of running at first, feeling lost and not really knowing where to go. Of his reluctance to go back to Ealdor in fear of putting his mother in danger before finding a temporal home in a druid camp, where he stayed safe for a few months until news of a group of men looking for him, bearing orders from the King to capture him.

"I left the camp that night" Merlin admitted, "I didn't want to risk their lives for harboring me"

And after that, it had been more running and hiding in caves or a town willing to accept a stranger for a few weeks. Until Samhain came around. Merlin spoke of feeling the tear of the veil, of Morgana and Morgause's foolish decision, all in the name of giving the former more power.

"I took to scrying you shortly after that" Merlin's tone was reproachful, "Imagine my surprise, Arthur, at seeing you ready to sacrifice yourself to close the veil"

"Like you're to talk" Arthur chuckled drily, "You would have done the same"

"To keep you safe?" Merlin's eyes were fixed on him, unwavering, "Without question"

Arthur simultaneously felt like choking while also fighting the urge to shake the living daylights out of Merlin.

_"Why?"_ He craved to ask, _"I'm not special"_

Merlin took his silence as permission to continue his tale.

"I- I convinced the Cailleach to close the veil" his voice quieted a bit, "It seemed silly to me that someone had to die in order to atone for some other person trying to gain more power, especially if it would be focused on revenge"

"But after that I…" Merlin's body shook, and his hands were tightly griping the blankets, "I got careless" he whispered.

"The people that were looking for you" Arthur guessed, feeling sick as Merlin nodded.

"I don't remember what- what happened exactly" he admitted, "But they got me. I escaped. They got me again, and they got-" he trembled as he spoke faintly, "They- they got more violent, and- and they also wanted information. What I knew about Camelot. You" tears threatened to spill out of his eyes, and Arthur took one of the hands that were still holding tight to the blanket at the same time the first sob escaped Merlin.

"This is all my fault" Arthur murmured, voice thick. He was surprised to not find himself feeling awkward at seeing Merlin break down in front of him, and instead started rubbing the back of the raven's hand, hoping to ground him a bit. Soon the sobs became heaving breaths, but the tears kept on coming.

"… No, no it's not, Arthur" his friend said, apparently now taking in what the blond had declared, and was looking at him like he had gone crazy.

"But it is!" Arthur didn't mean to shout, and when Merlin flinched, he opted to gripping his hand in apology. When the sorcerer tentatively squeezed back, the young king took a deep breath before explaining himself.

"I shouldn't have send you away like that" he started saying, "I should have given you a chance to explain yourself better" he blinked back for the second time in the night the sting behind his eyes, forcing himself to stare back at Merlin's eyes, "I should have… I should have dragged you to a cave or an abandoned cottage and- and-" he ran a hand through his hair in frustration before sighing in defeat, "I should have kept you safe"

"It would have changed little" Merlin mumbled, but his eyes had taken that soft look again, "The people who were after me would have still found me, I may not completely remember what was done to me, but in all honesty-" he was interrupted by a violent set of coughs that made him sink his head onto the pillow, "… I feel like on the brink of death"

Despite being delivered with a small joking tone, Arthur honestly believed he was _not _joking.

His sapphire eyes trailed to the stomach wound that had refused to heal by magic, the beginning of something uneasy starting to form on his belly.

"And even if I'm lucky to survive my injuries, Uther will kill me when he finds out I'm here, Arthur" Merlin's voice trembled a bit as he continued to talk.

The blond blinked himself back into focus at the raven's last sentence.

"You-" he gulped, the familiar feeling of teasing Merlin forming in his chest alongside fighting the desire to smile like an idiot, "You don't know?"

Merlin blinked back in obvious confusion.

"Know-" another cough, "Know what?" he questioned, his voice coming out slightly breathless.

"My father passed away a month ago" Arthur ceased trying to avoid the grin from forming on his face, "I'm the king now"

"Oh" Merlin's eyes were wide in shock as he let out a nervous laugh, "Well, that makes this reunion a bit less dramatic, doesn't it?"

"A bit, yeah" Arthur chuckled in agreement, "You're such a dollophead" he added in exasperation.

"That's my word" his friend weakly chastised him, using his other hand to swat Arthur's own, which was still holding on to Merlin's.

Despite the small moment between them, a thought started to bother the young king.

_"…Uther will kill me"_

"Merlin" he started uncertainly, his eyes once again going back to the stomach injury.

"Mm?" the raven answered absentminded, his eyes looking unfocused yet again.

"If you believed my father was still king… then why you risked coming back?" Arthur questioned, starting to dread what could be his friend's answer.

_"…Didn't know where else to go…"_

Merlin's eyes were starting to close and the hand that Arthur was holding became lax.

"Merlin" the blond tugs the limp a bit, trying to make him gain some focus again. Merlin seemed to be fighting becoming unconscious, if the way he winced as he opened his eyes was anything to go by.

"…I told you" he whispers, squeezing Arthur's hand before passing out once more.

_"…Had to see you again"_

Arthur felt his breath hitch when the realization hit him.

The stomach wound…Merlin was dying.

He had wanted to see Arthur one last time, thinking that he would perish from his wounds before Uther found out he was back in Camelot.

Merlin had wanted to see him in the flesh again. Uncaring if he died in his arms.

He simply had wished to see Arthur again one last time.

Tears blurred his vision. Arthur let go of Merlin's hand, cupping the ashen face in his hands. His skin was too warm.

"I meant what I said before" Arthur said, "You're not allowed to die. I'm not accepting your words as a goodbye. You _got_ to get better" his thumbs whipped the tear tracks that went down on the pale and nearly hollow cheekbones.

"Hang on, alright? Gaius will come up with something soon" he continued to say, leaning his lips to whisper on Merlin's right ear, "For me. Please, Merlin. Hold on for me" he begged before kissing his temple.

After all, Arthur had something important to tell him.

* * *

He doesn't remember falling asleep.

Least of all in front of the fireplace, not when he had practically decided that he would stay by Merlin's side until Gaius came back with a remedy.

In fact, Arthur's head feels like it was trampled by a horse.

That's enough to send warning bells into his system.

Save from the still burning ambers of the fireplace and the pale moonlight from the windows, his chambers are nearly dark.

But he still notices a shadow by his bed, inclined over Merlin's body. It's grabbing him by the hair, as it was forcing Merlin to drink-

It only takes Arthur seconds to silently grab his discarded sword and march over to the figure.

"Step away from him" he commands as he pokes the shadowed person with the end of the blade.

The intruder turns around, making Merlin's head crash back into the pillows with a solid 'thud', and Arthur feels his heart harden when the moonlight gives the shadow a face.

Agravaine.

A memory comes to him. His uncle had come into the room with the intention of showing him a document… and then a pain in the back of his head.

"Uncle" the king's voice was steel, "What is the meaning of this?"

To his fury, Agravaine smiles, and to Arthur's disgust, it's the same one he puts on in the council meetings before saying something meant to make the blond second guess himself.

"I'm simply protecting you, Arthur" the noble states, "Your father made it quite clear that he had you over an influence nearly a year ago and that he had to be get rid of"

Arthur felt like the ground had given under him.

"…What?"

His father's claims barely came as a surprise… but his uncle… a man who had claimed to be on Arthur's side in lifting the ban on magic… he had order Merlin to suffer, to be persecuted, and to be tortured.

The only thing preventing him from dropping his sword and guard was his training as a knight.

His uncle- the vile man seemed to take his shock as confusion, because he continued to talk.

"Uther feared you were still over an enchantment after the boy left, so he tasked me with employing the necessary people to get rid of him" Agravaine's voice was sickly soothing, "It's alright, Arthur, just step away from the boy and all will be over soon"

The king felt something in him snap.

"His name" Arthur hissed, lifting his blade towards the lying snake's throat, "Is Merlin"

"And you" he went on with a growl as he forced Agravaine to back away from the bed, away from Merlin, "Will_ not_. **Touch**. **_Him_**"

Agravaine chuckled before throwing his nephew a sneer.

"Too late for that" he said, holding out a small vial with some remaining black contents, "The things that Gaius has in his rooms are quite useful"

Arthur feels his breath stop.

Against his training to never lose sight of the enemy, he turns his head back to where Merlin rests-

And wishes he hadn't.

"But worry not, nephew-"

Merlin's lips are taking a dark tone, and there's foam starting to come out of his lips-

Poison.

"-You will join together in Avalon soon"

Arthur barely manages to block the small dagger Agravaine throws at him. His uncle huffs in annoyance before revealing another knife, this one with intricate designs and jewels.

Agravaine smirked at the blond's sharp intake of breath.

"You like it? Lady Morgana thought you might recognize it" he waved the dagger, "A little token of affection given to me after making sure that Uther gave his last breath" he laughed at the shocked look in Arthur's face, "I wonder what she'll give me when she hears that your little sorcerer guardian is dead"

He stopped to give a little hum.

"Hopefully a front seat at your execution after she takes her rightful place as Queen of Camelot"

He then throws the dagger too quickly for Arthur to dodge.

It stops before it can pierce through the blond's abdomen, and at the same time, Agravaine is thrown backwards by an invisible force. He collides against the stone walls of Arthur's chambers and doesn't get up.

Arthur turns just in time to see Merlin's golden eyes fade back into blue before he collapses back in the bed, convulsing and coughing up black blood.

"No. NO!" he races back to Merlin's side, gathering him in his arms with much more force than he did earlier in the night. Merlin struggles to breathe against him, his eyes looking wild. His mouth is moving, but no words come out.

Arthur is about to call the guards again when the doors burst open and in come Gaius, Guinevere, Elyan and Leon. The two knights and the servant stand in shock at the scene in front of them, but the physician hurries to the king's side, holding out two vials.

"Open his mouth. Quickly!" Gaius tells him. Merlin gives little resistance when Arthur complies with the old physician's orders, and Gaius pours the content of both glasses down the raven man's throat.

"Found your missing poison sample, Gaius" Elyan says as he lays next to Agravaine at the same time Leon announces that the man was still alive.

Arthur faintly hears himself ordering them to take his uncle to the dungeons, too focused on Merlin's attempts to breathe properly.

He continues to cough and heave; his skin feels like its on fire, he's sweating and shivering more violently that when he first collapsed, and Arthur swears that he's nearly translucent. His eyes are firmly shut in pain.

"Come on, Merlin" Arthur croaks, agonized. He turns to Gaius.

"Why is he not getting better?" he asks at the ailing old man, who's looking at his ward with a grim expression.

"The stomach wound had been inflicted with a potent poison and the one Lord Agravaine stole from my chambers is brewed to give a slow and agonizing death" Gaius explains somberly, "The first one is easy to treat… but combined with the latter, after being given so soon…"

"Don't say that he won't make it" Arthur whispered harshly at the same time Merlin starts to give ragged breaths, "Please"

"I'm sorry, Sire" Gaius's voice is laced with sadness, "It's up to him"

Arthur feels himself go numb. He barely notices Gaius and the others leaving the room, his attention only on the raven haired man struggling to stay alive in his arms.

In a way, Arthur feels like he himself is the one who's on the brink of death.

"Stay with me" he asks Merlin, letting their foreheads rest together.

Azure eyes open slightly to stare at him. Despite the clear pain that he's in, Merlin gives Arthur a tender smile, and his face is unguarded. His fingers weakly come to rest at the blond's cheek.

"My cariad" he whispers as his hand falls limp to the bed sheets.

And Merlin stops breathing.

For the next second, Arthur forgets himself as he stares at Merlin's still form, sure that his own heart has stopped beating, his worst nightmare finally coming true.

"No…" he mumbles, shaking his head as his vision blurs again and the tears start falling, "Merlin… Merlin please… you can't-"

He closes his eyes, burring his face on Merlin's raven hair as he finally breaks down.

"I love you too" Arthur whispers between sobs while he gently rocks Merlin, "I've always loved you"

He keeps repeating those words as if they were a spell, allowing himself to pour his heart out onto his beloved, wishing that somehow, Merlin is listening.

It's then when he notices the short exhale of air on his neck.

Shocked, Arthur slightly pulls away, and amazement begins to take over him as he watches Merlin slowly start to take steadier breaths. The foam has begun to vanish; the blue hue on his lips is giving away to a healthier pink. The blond even dares to take a look at the stomach, and surely enough, the wound has fully stopped leaking blood.

"Merlin" he breathes with a shaky smile.

The only response he gets is a small groan, but it's enough for Arthur to start laughing in joy and relief before he's kissing his brow.

Merlin was going to be fine.

They were going to be alright.

* * *

Camelot is busy for the next days.

Arthur first makes sure that Agravaine's belongings are fully searched for anything that might help him get into contact with Morgana before heading down to the dungeons with Lancelot and Percival to interrogate the traitor.

He sings like a bird when he fully realizes that Morgana won't come to his rescue and that his nephew has already ordered his execution for regicide, attempted regicide and murder of the future First Advisor of the King.

(And- possibly- hopefully future Consort).

The king only feels empty as he watches his uncle also confess to the name of the mercenaries he hired to hunt down Merlin.

Secondly, now that Agravaine is gone, the council meetings go a tad bit more swiftly. The talks about lifting the magic ban are met with less trouble, even if some of the nobles that served Uther remain stubborn as mules. Most of them demand examples of good magic done for the kingdom, and Arthur has to fight the feral grin from forming on his face when he reveals that he knows someone who can.

That makes most of them calm down, even if they look wary.

(But it's a start).

Thirdly, Merlin had to be temporally moved to the antechamber of his rooms for nearly a full day while George and Guinevere got rid the bed linens strained with his crimson and black blood, as moving him to Gaius's chambers was ill advised by the physician, afraid that the journey would open the injuries that still required some healing of their own accord.

When he requested that Merlin be moved back onto his bed after it had been changed, Guinevere gave him a small knowing smile while George simply handled him the red neckerchief that had been hiding under his pillow, surprisingly free of any blood strains.

Arthur took to sleeping next to an unconscious Merlin at a respectable distance, not wishing to make it look weird than it already was, but no one could really blame him from wanting to keep an eye on him.

(And if he took to placing a kiss on the back of Merlin's hand before going to sleep or leaving his chambers… well, no one had to know).

It goes on like this for two more days, until Arthur wakes up just as dawn is breaking in the horizon.

At first he's confused. He's never really been an early riser.

But that's when he notices Merlin's awake, his eyes blearily staring back at Arthur. That, and the fact that Arthur seemed to forget his damn rule about distance, for their noses are barely touching. Their hands are intertwined just above their shoulders.

For a moment, they don't say anything, they don't even move.

"If I died" Merlin starts to say, his voice rough and laced with slumber while his cheeks go pink as he giggles, "Then this is something nice to wake up to"

"Well, then it's a good thing you didn't" Arthur gave him a crooked grin, and takes a deep breath before he loses his courage, "Because I wouldn't be able to do this"

He closes the distance between them, slotting their lips together. Merlin makes a little sound of surprise before he shyly responds as Arthur settles a hand on the nape of his neck, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the slightly longer raven hair. Merlin's hand in the meantime has found the blond's shoulder and holds on to it while the kiss remains gentle, without hurry.

When they finally pull apart, Merlin's eyes are alight with happiness as he gives Arthur a soft, private smile that the blond finds himself quickly returning.

"Hello" Arthur whispers, watching with fascination as how the pale tendrils of sunlight give his beloved an etherly glow.

"Hi" Merlin murmurs back, letting out a breathy laugh as Arthur leans over to kiss him again.

They still needed to talk about a lot of things.

But for now?

They would spend the day in Arthur's chambers, pouring their love for each other, Merlin safe in his arms.

* * *

**AN: This is my first Merlin fic! I'm kinda nervous over what you guys think, so if you liked this fic, don't hesitate to leave a lovely review!**

**1\. The spells used in this fic were found on the Merlin Wiki page.**

**2\. For those who didn't recognize it: The poison Agravaine gives Merlin is the same one Morgana gave him on the S5 ep 'The Hollow Queen'.**

**3\. _'Cariad'_ is form of endearment, the most famous meaning being _'love'_.**


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